{"id":11324,"date":"2022-11-28T18:18:15","date_gmt":"2022-11-28T10:18:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/?p=11324"},"modified":"2022-11-28T18:35:17","modified_gmt":"2022-11-28T10:35:17","slug":"kopi-meets-whiskey-a-take-on-expat-dating-in-singapore-by-a-queer-malaysian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/explore\/expat-dating-in-singapore-by-a-queer-malaysian\/","title":{"rendered":"Kopi Meets Whiskey\u2014A Take on Expat Dating in Singapore by a Queer Malaysian"},"content":{"rendered":"[vc_row type=&#8221;in_container&#8221; full_screen_row_position=&#8221;middle&#8221; scene_position=&#8221;center&#8221; text_color=&#8221;dark&#8221; text_align=&#8221;left&#8221; overlay_strength=&#8221;0.3&#8243; shape_divider_position=&#8221;bottom&#8221;][vc_column column_padding=&#8221;padding-4-percent&#8221; column_padding_position=&#8221;all&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#fefeff&#8221; background_color_opacity=&#8221;1&#8243; background_hover_color_opacity=&#8221;1&#8243; column_shadow=&#8221;none&#8221; column_border_radius=&#8221;10px&#8221; top_margin=&#8221;-20%&#8221; width=&#8221;5\/6&#8243; tablet_text_alignment=&#8221;default&#8221; phone_text_alignment=&#8221;default&#8221; column_border_width=&#8221;none&#8221;]<div class=\"divider-wrap\"><div style=\"height: 10px;\" class=\"divider\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"divider-wrap\"><div style=\"margin-top: 5px; width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px;\" data-width=\"100\" data-animate=\"yes\" data-animation-delay=\"\" data-color=\"accent-color\" class=\"divider-small-border\"><\/div><\/div>[vc_custom_heading text=&#8221;Kopi Meets Whiskey\u2014A Take on Expat Dating in Singapore by a Queer Malaysian&#8221; font_container=&#8221;tag:h1|text_align:left&#8221; use_theme_fonts=&#8221;yes&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669618766113{margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;][vc_custom_heading text=&#8221;TL;DR\u2014casual dating sucks. So the real question is, what do you want for yourself?&#8221; font_container=&#8221;tag:h3|text_align:left&#8221; use_theme_fonts=&#8221;yes&#8221;][vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669628474918{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]<span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">When I finished the first draft of this article about expat dating in Singapore, I was thinking, am I that jaded? Have I lost so much of my hope? It sounded so angry and frustrated. I was waxing poetic (ranting) about the queer dating scene in Singapore. So I re-wrote it. Because it&#8217;s already riddled with article after article about all the <\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.straitstimes.com\/life\/how-to-up-your-dating-prospects-by-weeding-out-beige-flags\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">different experiences people have<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0and\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/thesmartlocal.com\/read\/finding-love-on-dating-apps\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">tips on how you can do better<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">. I mean, The Ministry of Social and Family Development literally has a\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.msf.gov.sg\/policies\/Marriages\/Pages\/Finding-a-Partner.aspx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u2018Social Development Network\u2019<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, complete with tips and a directory for dating agencies in Singapore. Not to mention all the dating apps and dating agencies. It all feels too easy, too clean. Like you can access every memory and every wisdom with a snap of a finger.<\/span>[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669631031805{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]\n<h2><strong>Table of Contents<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"#question\"><strong>Question&#8230;?<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#playing-the-game\"><strong>Playing The Game<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#busy-city-busy-singles\"><strong>Busy City, Busy Singles<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#single-scenes-big-apple\"><strong>The Singles Scene in the Big Apple<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#come-on\"><strong>Come On, People<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#how-do-you-want-to-make-your-bed\"><strong>How Do You Want to Make Your Bed?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartrments\"><strong>Find the one Singapore serviced apartments you&#8217;ll ever need<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"img-with-aniamtion-wrap \" data-max-width=\"100%\" data-border-radius=\"none\"><div class=\"inner\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-shadow=\"none\" data-shadow-direction=\"middle\" class=\"img-with-animation \" data-delay=\"0\" height=\"900\" width=\"1200\" data-animation=\"fade-in\" src=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-ladies-couple-dating.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-ladies-couple-dating.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-ladies-couple-dating-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-ladies-couple-dating-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-ladies-couple-dating-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" alt=\"metroresidences - singapore serviced apartments - ladies couple dating\" \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"divider-wrap\"><div style=\"height: 10px;\" class=\"divider\"><\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669620614207{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]\n<h2 id=\"question\"><strong>Question&#8230;?<\/strong><\/h2>\n[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669621245344{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]But can you still remember the first date you went abroad? What was it like? Where did you go? Did you follow any of the tips from all the articles you read? Do you remember?<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t. Or maybe I don\u2019t want to, even if I\u2019m 28. I was only eighteen when I first got to Singapore. From my hometown of Kota Kinabalu, I was about to embark on my tertiary studies\u2014mass communication. I thought the world was opening up to me. And I would find myself, find the love that I wanted. Well, I did, in some sense. (Full disclosure: I have a partner now.) I came out of it, alive. But there is still this brewing dissatisfaction, even if I could leave the dating pool. I was so convinced then, that I would live out my life meeting strangers whose faces would only blur and fade in my head. As you can tell, my dating experience as a quasi-expat in Singapore wasn\u2019t pretty.<\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Maybe it\u2019s just me, and my refusal to reckon with the yawning gap between who I was and who I wanted to be. Maybe I wish that I put up more of a fight. There was just this mould that I felt like I had to fit into: young, fair, pretty, and of course,\u00a0<\/span><em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">toned<\/span><\/em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">. It\u2019s a tired clich\u00e9 even then. For the record, I\u00a0<\/span><em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">hate<\/span><\/em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0clich\u00e9s. But even then, the Singaporeans on Grindr around my age were already falling into it. How could I not?<\/span>[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"img-with-aniamtion-wrap \" data-max-width=\"100%\" data-border-radius=\"none\"><div class=\"inner\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-shadow=\"none\" data-shadow-direction=\"middle\" class=\"img-with-animation \" data-delay=\"0\" height=\"900\" width=\"1200\" data-animation=\"fade-in\" src=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-man-and-woman-hugging.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-man-and-woman-hugging.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-man-and-woman-hugging-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-man-and-woman-hugging-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-man-and-woman-hugging-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"divider-wrap\"><div style=\"height: 10px;\" class=\"divider\"><\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669620647505{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]\n<h2 id=\"playing-the-game\"><strong>Playing The Game<\/strong><\/h2>\n[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669621400498{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]<span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">So I started to lose weight, running four, five times a week. I took dance classes, trying to find a purpose other than being and feeling desired. After months of carving my body as best as I could, I thought I was ready. At 2 metres, I thought I was a novelty. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">But the messages only trickled in. So I kept doing the same experiment, just to see if it was true, how they were all looking for beautiful bodies and beautiful faces. I would change my regular,\u00a0<\/span><em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">clothed,<\/span><\/em><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0photo of me on Grindr to something that showed more of my pale skin. And then I\u2019d watch as the visitor count hit 200, 300, 400.<\/span>[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"img-with-aniamtion-wrap \" data-max-width=\"100%\" data-border-radius=\"none\"><div class=\"inner\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-shadow=\"none\" data-shadow-direction=\"middle\" class=\"img-with-animation \" data-delay=\"0\" height=\"900\" width=\"1200\" data-animation=\"fade-in\" src=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-women-kissing.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-women-kissing.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-women-kissing-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-women-kissing-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-women-kissing-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" alt=\"metroresidences - singapore serviced apartments - women kissing\" \/><\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669629212886{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]Yet, it wasn\u2019t enough. As an eighteen-year-old Malaysian Chinese then, I thought at least I had ticked off some of the prerequisites. So it was easy enough to get texts from people who looked like me. I was already changing the way I talked then so that I could sound Singaporean, so I could sound like them. I became something they thought they knew, whether they just wanted casual flings or deep conversations about all those oft-repeated progressive views. It was easy enough; I am a writer, after all.<\/p>\n<p>So, I came out of my shell, creating profiles on all those big-name dating apps. Taking the initiative to say the first hello, trying to relate to what they put in their bio. I would pour in my heart, so much of it. I would paint myself as this perky, creative, smart-dumb blonde. I wanted to make them feel loved. I would compliment anything and everything about them, to prove that I was deserving of their affection, their love. I went to meet them, from hotel rooms to serviced apartments, dinners at romantic restaurants, and all those fast midnights that would paint all the streets and buildings in the same shade.[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"img-with-aniamtion-wrap \" data-max-width=\"100%\" data-border-radius=\"none\"><div class=\"inner\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-shadow=\"none\" data-shadow-direction=\"middle\" class=\"img-with-animation \" data-delay=\"0\" height=\"900\" width=\"1200\" data-animation=\"fade-in\" src=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-man-at-singapore-mrt-station.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-man-at-singapore-mrt-station.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-man-at-singapore-mrt-station-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-man-at-singapore-mrt-station-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-man-at-singapore-mrt-station-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" alt=\"metroresidences - singapore serviced apartments - man at singapore mrt station\" \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"divider-wrap\"><div style=\"height: 10px;\" class=\"divider\"><\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669621602278{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]\n<h2 id=\"busy-city-busy-singles\"><strong>Busy City, Busy Singles<\/strong><\/h2>\n[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669621818238{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]Some people have said that Singaporeans are sheltered, given how the government has laid out a well-trodden path for them. But the guys I met mostly had their own things going, though I&#8217;d keep asking to meet, making up reasons why they&#8217;d still want to, even though they&#8217;re already low-key ghosting me. It&#8217;s a busy city with busy singles, I guess.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m lucky that the gay men I\u2019ve met were mostly well-mannered, at the very least, if not slightly opinionated. But I think most other foreigners would beg to differ. I can easily pass as Singaporean Chinese, the majority. I am afforded the privilege of looking and talking like everybody else in the community. When you deviate from the beauty ideal, you might as well be thin air.<\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">The gay community can still be racist and fatphobic in Singapore, despite attempts to project solidarity. Profiles would explicitly say &#8220;No Indians; No Malays; No Femmes\u2019. Even Pink Dot, the closest thing that Singapore has to an annual pride parade,\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CckwUCZFP00\/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">cannot run away from allegations of racism by some of the attendees over the years.<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">\u00a0Pink Dot did try to re-affirm its stance against racial discrimination. But getting Preetipls and Subhas Nair every year isn&#8217;t going to cut it for much longer, though.<\/span>[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"img-with-aniamtion-wrap \" data-max-width=\"100%\" data-border-radius=\"none\"><div class=\"inner\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-shadow=\"none\" data-shadow-direction=\"middle\" class=\"img-with-animation \" data-delay=\"0\" height=\"900\" width=\"1200\" data-animation=\"fade-in\" src=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-men-cuddling.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-men-cuddling.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-men-cuddling-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-men-cuddling-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-men-cuddling-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" alt=\"metroresidences - singapore serviced apartments - men cuddling\" \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"divider-wrap\"><div style=\"height: 10px;\" class=\"divider\"><\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669620689734{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]\n<h2 id=\"single-scenes-big-apple\"><strong>The Singles Scene in the Big Apple<\/strong><\/h2>\n[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669622093004{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]The grass isn\u2019t greener on the other side of the world too. One of my <em>intimate<\/em> friends, Darren, faces the shades of the same problem in New York. And I think one of the most telling signs that race is still such a big discussion is that I <em>still<\/em> have to mention his race to give context to the story. He\u2019s a Singaporean Chinese who has been living in New York for 6 years.<\/p>\n<p>I asked him over Telegram, is it something like: new place, same problems?<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Well it\u2019s unique since in Singapore as a Chinese person you are the majority,\u2019 he texted back.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Here (in New York), you know what it feels like to be a minority. There\u2019s racism brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, stereotypes associated with being Asian, and the Asian fetish chasers.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>Though Darren admitted that in New York, it\u2019s not all bad. It\u2019s a more liberal state, so he knows that his rights are protected. He\u2019s able to live more freely, compared to the more conservative states in the Midwest. That&#8217;s despite all the toxic rhetoric by Fox News.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018I will say that the same issues in Asia are not that much different here. Like the masc jock guys being chased after and the exclusive circle of super masculine bodybuilder types that are seen as the pinnacle.\u2019[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"img-with-aniamtion-wrap \" data-max-width=\"100%\" data-border-radius=\"none\"><div class=\"inner\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-shadow=\"none\" data-shadow-direction=\"middle\" class=\"img-with-animation \" data-delay=\"0\" height=\"900\" width=\"1200\" data-animation=\"fade-in\" src=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-people-at-mrt-station-entrance.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-people-at-mrt-station-entrance.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-people-at-mrt-station-entrance-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-people-at-mrt-station-entrance-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-people-at-mrt-station-entrance-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" alt=\"metroresidences - singapore serviced apartments - people at mrt station entrance\" \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"divider-wrap\"><div style=\"height: 10px;\" class=\"divider\"><\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669620707045{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]\n<h2 id=\"come-on\"><strong>Come On, People<\/strong><\/h2>\n[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669629928488{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]I\u2019ve always thought about how silly it can get, like how the minority can still create a minority among themselves. Because, at the end of the day, everyone\u2019s just lonely. All we&#8217;re looking for is a connection. But there&#8217;s this wave of apathy affecting how we connect with new people, romantically or not. I still like to meet new people, so I still get on Grindr and Tinder to see who\u2019s around (with my partner\u2019s knowledge). It\u2019s like, no one even talks to anyone anymore, unless there\u2019s an explicit intent to \u2018have fun&#8217;. Or you get flooded with unsolicited dick pics if you post a picture of yourself in your Speedos.<\/p>\n<p>And how can we even ignore the discussion about race and class in this day and age? How do we confront it? For me, I always tried to act against my bias, even if I can\u2019t run away from it. I was chasing after beautiful people too, despite watching all those neo-romantic romantic comedies. I try to strike up conversation when I match with people tinder. I try to turn guys down as gently as I can. I try to afford people a little more grace, as jaded as I am. Because Lorde knows we all need it.[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"img-with-aniamtion-wrap \" data-max-width=\"100%\" data-border-radius=\"none\"><div class=\"inner\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-shadow=\"none\" data-shadow-direction=\"middle\" class=\"img-with-animation \" data-delay=\"0\" height=\"900\" width=\"1200\" data-animation=\"fade-in\" src=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-male-couple-in-bed-smiling.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-male-couple-in-bed-smiling.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-male-couple-in-bed-smiling-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-male-couple-in-bed-smiling-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2022\/11\/metroresidences-singapore-serviced-apartments-male-couple-in-bed-smiling-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" alt=\"metroresidences - singapore serviced apartments - male couple in bed smiling\" \/><\/div><\/div><div class=\"divider-wrap\"><div style=\"height: 10px;\" class=\"divider\"><\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669620746165{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]\n<h2 id=\"how-do-you-want-to-make-your-bed\"><strong>How Do You Want to Make Your Bed?<\/strong><\/h2>\n[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669622503446{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]So, what do you want out of all of this? That is the perennial question you have to ask yourself: who do you want to be? What do you want to stand for? What are you living for? We all want fantasy, but to what end? There will always be beautiful faces on beautiful bodies, and nice dinners at romantic rooftop bars will only go so far.<\/p>\n<p>Everyone will have their heart broken\u2014if only once was all we could get. Yes, I am saying this when I only needed to swipe right to find my partner, that I am happy with him. But at the end of the day, we&#8217;ll only lie in the bed we make, so we might as well learn how to make a better bed.[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"divider-wrap\"><div style=\"height: 10px;\" class=\"divider\"><\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669630604283{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]\n<h2><strong>Find the one Singapore serviced apartments you&#8217;ll ever need<\/strong>[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css_animation=&#8221;fadeIn&#8221; css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1669630529843{margin-top: 20px !important;margin-bottom: 20px !important;}&#8221;]<\/h2>\n<div class=\"wpb_text_column wpb_content_element wpb_animate_when_almost_visible wpb_fadeIn fadeIn vc_custom_1666234543354 animated wpb_start_animation\">\n<div class=\"wpb_wrapper\">\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Whether you\u2019re staying for a longer period or not, we have a wide range of options across coveted locales such as Raffles Place, Orchard Road, and Arab Street. If you\u2019re\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.metroresidences.com\/sg\/expat-life\/explore\/move-your-pets-into-singapore-in-7-steps\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">planning to move your furkid abroad<\/a>\u00a0with you, we\u2019ve even got a couple of pet-friendly Singapore condo rentals and serviced apartments too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">All our serviced apartments and hotel rooms are conveniently located, with\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.metroresidences.com\/sg\/expat-life\/explore\/top-5-serviced-apartments-in-singapore-near-mrt-stations\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">hassle-free access to public transport<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">. It all comes fully furnished too, with amenities like wi-fi, air-conditioners, and even<\/span>\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.metroresidences.com\/sg\/expat-life\/explore\/exclusive-7-apartments-with-a-kitchen-that-reminds-you-of-home\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">fully-equipped kitchens<\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">. With MetroResidences, you can find your home away from home.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"divider-wrap\"><\/div>\n[\/vc_column_text][nectar_btn size=&#8221;small&#8221; open_new_tab=&#8221;true&#8221; button_style=&#8221;regular&#8221; button_color_2=&#8221;Accent-Color&#8221; icon_family=&#8221;none&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.metroresidences.com\/sg\/#contact-us&#8221; text=&#8221;Let&#8217;s Get in Touch&#8221;][\/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=&#8221;no-extra-padding&#8221; column_padding_position=&#8221;all&#8221; background_color_opacity=&#8221;1&#8243; background_hover_color_opacity=&#8221;1&#8243; column_shadow=&#8221;none&#8221; column_border_radius=&#8221;none&#8221; width=&#8221;1\/6&#8243; tablet_text_alignment=&#8221;default&#8221; phone_text_alignment=&#8221;default&#8221; column_border_width=&#8221;none&#8221; column_border_style=&#8221;solid&#8221;][vc_widget_sidebar enable_sticky=&#8221;true&#8221; sidebar_id=&#8221;blog-sidebar&#8221;][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row type=&#8221;in_container&#8221; full_screen_row_position=&#8221;middle&#8221; scene_position=&#8221;center&#8221; text_color=&#8221;dark&#8221; text_align=&#8221;left&#8221; overlay_strength=&#8221;0.3&#8243; shape_divider_position=&#8221;bottom&#8221;][vc_column column_padding=&#8221;no-extra-padding&#8221; column_padding_position=&#8221;all&#8221; background_color_opacity=&#8221;1&#8243; background_hover_color_opacity=&#8221;1&#8243; column_shadow=&#8221;none&#8221; column_border_radius=&#8221;none&#8221; width=&#8221;1\/1&#8243; tablet_text_alignment=&#8221;default&#8221; phone_text_alignment=&#8221;default&#8221; column_border_width=&#8221;none&#8221; column_border_style=&#8221;solid&#8221;][vc_column_text]\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row type=&#8221;in_container&#8221; full_screen_row_position=&#8221;middle&#8221; scene_position=&#8221;center&#8221; text_color=&#8221;dark&#8221; text_align=&#8221;left&#8221; overlay_strength=&#8221;0.3&#8243; shape_divider_position=&#8221;bottom&#8221;][vc_column column_padding=&#8221;padding-4-percent&#8221; column_padding_position=&#8221;all&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#fefeff&#8221; background_color_opacity=&#8221;1&#8243; background_hover_color_opacity=&#8221;1&#8243; column_shadow=&#8221;none&#8221; column_border_radius=&#8221;10px&#8221; top_margin=&#8221;-20%&#8221; width=&#8221;5\/6&#8243; tablet_text_alignment=&#8221;default&#8221; phone_text_alignment=&#8221;default&#8221; column_border_width=&#8221;none&#8221;][vc_custom_heading text=&#8221;Kopi Meets Whiskey\u2014A Take on Expat Dating in Singapore by&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":11327,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[176,77,209,175],"class_list":["post-11324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-explore","tag-dating","tag-expat-life","tag-singapore-expats","tag-singapore-expats-dating"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11324"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11338,"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11324\/revisions\/11338"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11327"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/expat.metroresidences.com\/sg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}